To my Demons

To my Demons,

I thought I lost you

even though deep down I knew I  hadn’t

I knew one day you would come back

And you did

This time you brought a legion

The legion I hadn’t seen for eons

I hadn’t snuffed you out

I had relieved you of your duties

The duty to fuck with me

My head was no longer your home

My soul was no longer your territory

To search and seize

But you have reclaimed what once was yours

You have reclaimed my soul

You have reclaimed my spirit

You have reclaimed my mind

I hadn’t even known that I had

until it was too late

Now you’re here again

You have come across the threshold

And I was too weak to prevent you

My soul is engulfed now with what you bring

My mind is now up for sale at the market

But no one wants it and it’s returned for the barter

My soul is being played with like a hot coal

And all you do my legion is laugh

All you do is stand in the shadowy corner

The corner of my soul that is too dark to touch

The corner of my soul where no one trends

The corner of my soul that is obscure too incomprehensible for some to even bear thought

And now all you do is wring my soul

You twist the little pleasures away

You take the few sparkles of life and tell me they are not mine to have

You tell me my life is not mine to live

You tell me I’m no good

You tell me I am not me

You tell me I am fucked

You tell me I am better of lifeless

You tell me to surrender like I once had

You tell me I am too beaten

You tell me I am to scared for the sale

You tell me I am worthless

You tell me I should cower and hide

You tell me I am conquered like I once was

you tell me that

My soul should be yours once again

My tears burn for they have smoldered a long time in the opaque of the corner of my soul that no one trends

To my legion I will not surrender

To my legion I will not raise you any more

To my legion I am worth something

To my legion

get the fuck out of my head

To once my legion

get the fuck out of my soul

For my soul

My spirit

My mind

Are mine.

Shattered…..

wolf_eating

My soul is weak ..  a lot weaker then it should be ..

 I have been ravaged by the vultures of time

I have been damaged

I have been destroyed

My soul has been ransacked, pillaged

my soul has been slashed open

gashed open by the wolves

who take pleasure in draining my life substance

by the vultures

who take pleasure in my pain

The shreds of my soul hang loosely in the wind

They limply flop in the cold winds of time

Ready for the next barbarian to come by and eat what’s they feel is theirs

The pieces of my life sway carelessly in the wind

the scent of my weakness is carried recklessly through the storm of life

Soul shattering threads hanging loosely

Droplets of my life force dripping into pools

How has my soul gone this far and not fall apart?

How has my soul carried on?

Why hasn’t a she wolf gone by and snatch what is left  to feed her young?

Feeding ….

Its what we all do …

We feed on one another ….

We sniff out the vulnerable

We use the venerable for our own sick and twisted pleasure …

We mock the vulnerable behind their backs..to their face

WE get a sick thrill seeing what we create…

The vulnerable like me

The vulnerable that has been torn again

And again …

And again ….

The vulnerable like me, our ripped soul’s that dangle in the wind giving off the scent of life

We are sought out …we are snuffed out

Then the attacks come ….

The shreds that are hanging ..the soul that is just hanging on …for one more day ..one more hope

Shattered .

False likes…false hopes…

the fake …

Are used to make the vulnerable believe

Then when there is hope

When there is a hope to dream

The hope to live

The soul is slashed open again revealing the tattereness inside

The soul is scratched, gashed letting the life-force out once again

A soul that is destroyed is once again left in the cold wind giving off the scent of its defenselessness

How much longer can a soul be resistant?

How much longer till the wolves come?

A soul that is so shattered that prefers to be eaten

To be put out of its misery?

How much longer till the vultures come and claim their piece of the battle?

A conflicted soul….

A soul that will trudge on …

A soul even though is ragged

A soul that even though it is tattered

Will trudge on …

The vultures may circle and swoop every now and then

The wolves that snarl and bite and chew the meager piece that they have claim is theirs

This frayed, ragged, tattered, shredded, soul will march on.